Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I was not drunk enough for that final.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
