you guys were way drunker than both of me
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
