We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
