dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
