sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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