I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
