She announced her abortion via fbk
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
