he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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