so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
