Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
