I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
