I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
