I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
