You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
she told me i tasted like america
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
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