OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
