you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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