it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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