as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
