My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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