problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
