i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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