Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
