We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
