You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
