i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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