How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Randomize
