South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
