I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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