I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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