I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
