Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
