fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Randomize
