Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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