haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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