Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
