You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
