So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
You've changed since you got that strap on
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
