she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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