this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
