i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
