So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
