he shaved USA in his pubs
Quick, to the slutcave!
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
