me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
