4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
