Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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