hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
