his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
