yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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