i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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