Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
