He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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