I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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