some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
