ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
